Observations From a Not-So-Objective Viewer:

I cannot remember the last time I simply had time to sit and do nothing. Although I've done enough of it the past two weeks.

I continue to eat food that makes me sick just because it tastes good. Seriously.

I can't remember the last time I simply looked up at the stars and thought, "Wow."

I miss a good snowball fight.

I haven't been able to fall asleep the past two nights, and now that I'm exhausted, I don't want to take a nap for fear that I won't be able to sleep again.

I think I/O psychology might be my calling.

I'm really actually afraid to grow up.

I miss my old friends.

I'm much better at making plans and contemplating what it is I should be doing than following through.


I think I've become a little deluded since I've gotten to college. Perhaps deluded isn't the word I'm looking for - but let's roll with it. I'm the same as I was in high school - overachieving and super-friendly, and yet still different. I work my ass off and get the grades, get the awards and honors (I promise you, I'm not trying to brag), and I honestly have no idea what any of it's for. Why am I doing any of this? At least in high school, I could say it was because I wanted to go to a good college, or get scholarships, etc. You get the point. And now, yes, I could say that I'm doing it so I can get a good career. But where does it end? And how can I say that when I don't even know for sure what it is I want to be doing for the rest of my life?

Maybe this is just my reaction to filling out several applications for several different positions that may well come to define the rest of my college experience. As I said earlier, I really am afraid to grow up. And it appears that I am, in fact, growing up.

Yours truly,
Caity

What You Fail To See

She woke up late today,
can't get out of bed.
She's lazy, tired,
not quite worth the trying.

I heard the buzzing
screaming hissing
curse of the alarm
-hit it with my claws.

She's sick and weak,
there must be something wrong.
The dreams don't come, and
words have failed her, too.

I can't move,
can't bear to breathe,
with voices screaming in my head,
"It's better just to sleep."

Mirror Mirror

You let those feet
walk all over you,
those eyes see
right through you.
You're quiet, unassuming,
all together bland.
No one wants to be your friend,
you always go unnoticed.

I despise the way
you get the guys
and always win the race.
I wish that you would
shut your mouth and
simply see my face.

Sooo...

I decided that after two months, I should probably post something before everyone thinks I've up an ditched this blog. I promise you, I haven't!

I just haven't been feeling the writing lately. And warning, what I'm about to post is not my best work. I decided last night that I would write, and I used a textbook from a creative writing class I took two semesters ago that is full of writing exercises as the motivation for these next two.

So here goes nothing....

And by the way, rest in peace Heath Ledger. I would have never seen that one coming.