So This Is How I "Study"

Wow. I'm nearly done with my sophomore year of college now, and as finals are swiftly approaching, I'm doing everything in my power to avoid studying for them. As of this moment, I'm not going to delve into my reflections on the entire year, but I will get a few things off of my chest.

While I've had several disappointments this semester, things have begun to turn around. I'll be up here in Mt. Pleasant for several more weeks working as a facilitator at Leadership Camp, and I'm really excited about it.

As I write, "I'll Follow You Into The Dark" decides to start playing. This song never fails to make me sad. I've been going through a lot of emotional ups and downs lately, just after I thought I was finally getting better. I've been confused a lot lately - about what I want, about what I don't want, hell, I've even been confused about what I'm confused about. I'm hurting those closest to me, and I don't know how to stop it. I feel like I'm losing control, and I don't know how to stop it. At the risk of sounding entirely cliche, I'm feeling like I need to "find myself", without the help of those that want to give it.

I really don't know what I want anymore, and I don't know what to do about it.

I'm sorry for rambling, and thank you for listening. As always, words of encouragement are welcome.